You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
