so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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