Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
