yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
