Where did you get a picture of my penis
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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