been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
