piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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