Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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