Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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