Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
they're like a gay fantastic four
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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