There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
where are my eyebrows?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
