Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So many bounce houses so little time
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
