But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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