then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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