Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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