my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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