He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
cat food counts as protein by the way
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize