you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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