didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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