so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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