White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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