I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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