I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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