So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
