We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
