oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wish I only lived at night.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
