honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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