I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize