honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
