That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
