I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
false alarm. still invincible.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
