There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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