so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
