i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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