Only a mothe r could love this liver
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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