I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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