Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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