A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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