I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
