They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
