i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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