My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
