We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
