The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Boobs are out for the taking
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
dude. I can hear the air.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
