he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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