he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
