Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Houston, we have a blender
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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