I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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