worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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