Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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