I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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