Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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