This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize