I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
