Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
