I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
