do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
