Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
