Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
