I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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