I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize