I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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