She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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