soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
