I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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