Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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