your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
