ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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