What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
