Umm I'm too high to move.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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