Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't deserve a penis
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize