we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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